how to make a long-distance relationship work

How to make a Long-distance Relationship Work?

Long-distance relationships can be hard, but you can make it work if you and your partner are on the same page. Different zip codes, conflicting time zones, and the many miles that separate you do pose challenges; nonetheless, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Finding someone worth trusting, loving unconditionally, and settling for is a blessing, so don’t let physical distance be the end of that beautiful connection. Millions of people have survived a long-distance relationship and many of them claim that it made their bond stronger.

A long-distance relationship can be a rollercoaster of emotions, especially if you are accustomed to physical proximity with your significant other. Some say that out of sight means out of mind, but that’s hardly true. The journey has its highs and lows, but a little patience and understanding go a long way. Below are 18 tips to help you preserve and strengthen your relationship while living apart:

1.      Be Supportive

You and your partner agreed on the long-distance arrangement for a reason, so value this decision. If this temporary separation is necessary for them to advance in their career, or it’s something you both need to accomplish your individual goals, respect that.

You are going to feel lonely and frustrated from time to time, though that should not interfere with the well-being of your partner and you. If your partner cannot give you too much time because duty calls, try to reach a compromise rather than throwing a tantrum.

2.      Find things to do together

Living apart must not stop you from doing things together. Just because you cannot be within 6 feet of each other does not mean that it is impossible to share activities. For instance, you can watch your favorite show at the same time from different locations, whilst staying connected on Facetime or a similar video calling app.

If you both like video games, you can play with each other from literally anywhere online. Modern wireless technology has made it so easy to remain in contact, even if your partner resides across the seven seas.

3.      Keep reminding them of their significance

Long-distance lovers often develop insecurities, since they cannot keep in touch for most of the day. One gets annoyed when the other takes longer than usual to reply to a text, or keeps calling them when they’re busy. It is not unusual to imagine the worst or feel like you’re drifting apart.

Therefore, it is important to make your partner aware of the fact that you constantly miss them, wish to be with them, and obviously love them. Expressing your gratitude at least once a day helps keep negative thoughts at bay and build trust.

4.      Voice your concerns

If you ever feel that your long-distance partner is neglecting you or hiding something, do not hesitate to confront them. You must be transparent about how you feel so that mere misunderstandings don’t drive you mad.

Voicing your concerns will put you at ease and encourage your partner to clear up any confusion, as well as put in the effort to make you feel secure. Showing vulnerability is integral to an intimate relationship because it promotes understanding.

5.      Focus on the Positives

It’s easy to fuss over the downsides of a long-distance relationship and completely ignore all the positives. For starters, partners who live apart for prolonged periods tend to be more self-sufficient. You gain a sense of independence that pays off in life, especially when times are challenging.

You get more me-time, the opportunity to discover yourself, and grow as an individual. Moreover, it gets easier to focus on work and career goals, so you two can live a better life together in the future. Couples who do long-distance rarely take each other for granted, and the longing to meet again brings them closer.

6.      Make plans for a future together

When two people make a pact to stay committed despite living poles apart, it makes sense to make plans for a future together. You should have a clear idea regarding how much time the separation will last, and what would be the next step once the agenda is complete.

Who will move to reunite and how will the relationship progress to the next level? How many times a month or year will you see each other during the lost-distance arrangement? If one of you expects financial support from the other in the meantime, such things are to be discussed in detail.

7.      Give or ask for space when needed

The abundance of call and messenger apps makes it easier to stay in touch. You can also keep track of your partner’s whereabouts and activities through social media, which adds convenience. However, too much screen time and social stalking can become stressful.

You might end up feeling suffocated despite being far away from your significant other. It is healthy to take a break when constant communication begins to seem like too much. You cannot abandon the rest of your life to focus on your long-distance relationship only.

8.      Consider this a Test

If you have doubts about your relationship, consider the time apart as a test. If you and your partner are meant to be, you can remain loyal and make it work despite the odds. You shall also obtain clarity about your own needs and feelings.

Living separately for some time can be an eye-opener in many ways. Not having your beloved around may inspire you to appreciate them more and vice versa.

9.      Set some ground rules

Every long-distance relationship needs some ground rules that both partners need to abide by. If you are uncomfortable with your partner taking part in certain activities while they are away, you should say so from the start.

Even if you and your partner are in an open relationship, it is still crucial to define boundaries. Both sides need to refrain from things that may create conflict or offend the other.

10. Be Creative and Spontaneous

A long-distance relationship may become tedious over time, particularly if you’re treating it like another task of your daily schedule. You need to change things up and try something new to keep the other party interested.

Bring some mystery or innovation into your day-to-day interactions because repeating the same old stuff over and over again gets boring, or even repulsive. For example, if you watch a movie every Saturday night, suggest a dance battle or a game of strip poker instead!

11. Be Honest and Cooperative

If the person you’re perusing a long-distance relationship with matters to you, do not even think about lying and cheating. If you cannot be honest, you shouldn’t have agreed to the arrangement in the first place.

If your partner is falling behind on plans or not living up to your expectations, try putting yourself in their shoes first. Talking about your issues and accommodating each other at every step is the key to making this work.

12. Share the little things

When you’re living in different zip codes or continents, mentioning the trivial details of your day makes all the difference. For example, you may tell your partner that you tried a new Starbucks drink or how a song playing on the radio reminded you of them.

Sharing this kind of stuff allows a long-distance partner to feel included in your special moments, and the distance is reduced to nothing but a number.

13. Send gifts and letters

Surprising your partner with a personalized gift or hand-written letter is a wonderful gesture. Keeping in touch through messaging and calls is great, but going the extra mile by sending them a tangible souvenir is precious.

It’s a nice way to show that they’re always on your mind and how much you care. Do not forget to celebrate different milestones of your relationship and make your beloved feel special.

14. Keep the Romance alive

Do not shy away from turning up the heat just because you lack physical proximity with your partner. Send flirty texts and conduct romantic gestures at every chance you get. Do things that turn your partner on and show them how they make you feel. Tell them what you do when you think of them and discover their wildest dreams.

15. Respect each other

Respect is essential in every relationship, regardless of the physical distance between two people. Believe in your partner and support their ambitions if you don’t want to lose them. You don’t have to throw away your dreams to chase the one you love, but you cannot tell them to give up their passion to be with you either. If you cannot respect your partner’s choices, there is no point in maintaining the relationship.

16. Make the best of your time together

Forget about ‘what ifs’ and cherish every moment you spend together. Make each other happy, share your troubles, and become each other’s strength. Do not waste time bickering about trivial things or complaining about life. Concentrate on each other and make every minute count. Relive your best memories and paint the picture of a bright future, rather than digging up old skeletons.

17. Treat virtual dates as real dates

Virtual dates are the best you can do in a long-distance relationship, so take them seriously. You should dress up and try to look your best even if you’re not actually going to leave the house or meet your partner in person.

Looking presentable and attractive is very important to keep your partner coming back for more. If you always show up for a virtual date like you just got out of bed, you’re sending the message that you don’t care at all.

18. Just be there

In a long-distance relationship, you cannot literally be at your partner’s side when they need you. However, a virtual presence and some comforting words can be more than enough. If your partner wants to talk or they’re having a mental breakdown, leave everything else and give them a call. Be accessible at all times and let them know that they can reach you whenever they need to.

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